Junk Mail


I am a lonely, horny, desperate old man who suffers from erectile dysfunction and can’t get around well. If that’s not bad enough, I’m also blind and have a small penis that needs enhancing. My penis and mobility woes are probably due to the fact that I’m overweight. Oh well, I’m broke anyway. There’s always an error at my bank and on my credit report. But don’t worry! I’m constantly offered quick and easy money by those folks in Africa that need help getting their gold out the country.

Says all the crap in my junk mail. Sheesh!


How Are You?


I had a curious thought while listening to my mom on the phone. Why do people ask complete strangers “How are you?”  when they really don’t care for the real answer? I know it’s out of courtesy but why ask in the first place? The routine answer is usually, “I’m fine, how are you?” or something. Even when we’re having a crappy day it’s still, “I’m fine.”

What if as a whole we start answering that question with the truth, will we stop asking people that question?

“How are you?”
“Horrible. My dog just died. You?”
“Wow. Umm. I’m sorry. I’m doing ok.”

“How are you?”
“Awesome!! Been having a great day! How about yourself?”
“Ugh. Not so great.”

Could we handle the awkwardness of the truth?